Prioritizing Means You Must Say No

There is a simple activity called “prioritization” that is often misunderstood and done wrongly, in a way that causes confusion and frustration. Not just for you and your team, but for everyone that depends on you.

The way I’ve most often seen prioritization done in real companies is to write down all of the things that need to be done, that we’d like to achieve, that it’d be nice to get taken care of, or that got suggested that one time. Then they get put in order, and everyone¹ starts working down that list.² If any new work comes up, it gets slotted somewhere in that list.³

Unfortunately, “there’s more to see than can ever be seen / more to do than can ever be done.”⁴

There are items way down that list that will never be done. (Or worse, there are items way down the list that will get done a year later because someone was sick of seeing the item on the list, decided they could knock it out in an afternoon, and so they did. By doing so, they took time away from the items higher in the list. Was the list in the wrong priority order? Is there an alignment issue? Either way, it’s not ideal, and it shows that the list isn’t doing its job.)

This blog post isn’t to scold you for “doing it wrong”, or to complain that having that big list creates “inventory” and has “ongoing costs” and creates a “cognitive burden”. I mean, that’s all true. But you’re smart. You know that already. You’ve felt the effects of that big list on yourself and on your team. You’re sick of answering questions about the 86th item down (“it’s on the list, at our current velocity it’ll be done next July, no, not July of this year…”).

Instead, this blog post is to point something out. Making that ordered list of “priorities” shows that you have the authority to say “no for now” or “no, not until” to any given item. Someone might not like the order you set, and they might argue with you about it, and you may even give in and change the order, but the point is that you got to set the order.

That means you have the authority to say “no” to any given item.⁵

Chew on that for a minute, Mr. or Ms. Manager, Individual Contributor, and/or Executive.

If you have the authority to prioritize one item against another, you have the authority to say “no for now” to the lower-priority item.

If you have the authority to say “no for now” to an item, you can continue to say “no for now” as you slot new items in ahead of that item.

If you say “no for now” for long enough, that item will never get done.⁶

So you can just say “no” to that item. It’s okay. If it’s really important, it’ll come back up again. And it’s a kinder, more straightforward way to communicate to your stakeholders. “Nope, we’re not refurbishing the widgets.” Note that there’s not a “we’ll try to get to it” or a “but maybe we can squeeze it in” attached.⁷ It’s lower on the priority list. Low enough that you’re functionally saying so. Actually say no.

The truth is,⁸ you can’t say “yes” without the ability to say “no”. Well, you can. You can say the word. You can put the item on your to-do list. But you can’t commit to doing anything if you don’t have the ability to say “no” to the things you ought not be doing.

When you feel like you can’t say “no”, remember: if you are allowed to prioritize, you’re allowed to say “no”.

If you are allowed to prioritize, you’re allowed to say “no”.

If you’re allowed to say “later”, you’re allowed to say “no”.

You might get it wrong, of course. But even if you get it wrong, you’re more right than if you tried to say “yes” to everything. If you haven’t heard about Warren Buffett’s Not-To-Do list, that’s useful additional reading.

Don’t say “yes” to everything. It won’t work. Decide what to say “no” to, so you can focus on what needs to get done. You’re allowed to decide. Even more than that, you must decide. Prioritization means you must say “no”.

Now, making the decisions about what to say “no” to, and what to do when—that’s a whole other topic.

1. Maybe everyone on the team, every department in the company, or simply whomever happens to be in the room. [↩]
2. Duration of this list as the source of priority order is deliberately not specified here. I’ve seen it be as little as five minutes. [↩]
3. A lot of folks will call this “the backlog”. This is a sign that the company is not anywhere near working in an agile manner. [↩]
4. 🎵 “In the circle / the circle of life” 🎶 [↩]
5. Again, you might be wrong or overruled. Don’t sweat it. [↩]
6. I could change the burned-out light bulb in the basement closet. Or, I could keep putting it off until some far-future date when I move away! [↩]
7. This is hard. This is hard for me personally. I want to make sure people are taken care of. I want to do everything that’s needed. But I can’t, so I have to say no. It’s either that or keep stringing someone along. I remind myself to have the guts to say “no” because it’s kinder than holding out false hope, kinder than giving the other person the gift of knowing they need to look for alternatives. [↩]
8. “The truth is, I am Iron Man.” [↩]